I know this blog is normally dedicated to local foods and dining spots, but I ran across something yesterday that was so bizarre and so terrifying, I just had to share it.
Spam. Singles.
I suppose in the world of ultra processed meat product the fact that the consumer had to slice the product before eating was hurting hormel’s bottom line. The answer: pre-sliced spam slabs packaged singly in vacuum sealed envelopes.
I have not tried this stuff, nor will I, but their website offers more on the product:
It is the same wonderful treat with the same tongue-splitting amazing taste as always. But also, a SPAM Single is very different. It can easily fit in a pocket. It is just enough for one person. It has more aerodynamic and perhaps shiner packaging. A SPAM Single is alone, fighting a bland world, shouting “I am but a single slice! I taste good! I am convenient! And I am PRETTY!”
I think the phrase “tongue-splitting” pretty much sums it up. For extra terror, they also have a “turkey” version.
Whatever the food equivalent of shark-jumping is, Hormel just did it.
Ick.
Now, I am all about the pork products. But I think I have to draw the line here.
And run. Quickly.
I think that marketing person needs to youtube search ‘tongue-splitting’ before they EVER consider using it in a campaign.
Also, I’m pretty sure the first words out of a slice of SPAM would be ‘WTF? What the hell am I?’ if it could, indeed, shout.